Sunday, 1 March 2015

Ramblings on Gratitude - week 9

Pondering on reflection. This solo retreat last week was awesome. Some would call it Spring Break but for me it was a retreat.  It was therefore also a time of reflection. The full definition of reflection: 1. An instance of reflecting, 2. The production of an image, 3. Something that shows the effect, existence, or character of something else, 4. The action of bending, 5. Indirect criticism, 6. a though, idea, or opinion formed or a remark made as a result of meditation, 7. Obsolete, 8. Consideration of some subject matter, idea, or purpose, and 9. A transformation of a figure in which each point is replaced by a point symmetric with respect to a line or plane.
It is an old word. First known use was in the 14th century although its origins are from the Latin word reflexio (source Merriam-Webster).

I’m reflecting on my learning style. I prefer focused, structured, and complex with an emphasis on concepts and relationships. This is so scary, this insight.  It explains why I’m curious, a true researcher at heart. What is even scarier is to realise, I only buy into a team that is trying to achieve something special or that will help do something worthwhile. I’m committed to my job, as I truly believe that research skills can help you become a reflective professional. I’m not motivated to ‘doing a job’. The job, chore, needs to be important (to me), I need to believe in what I do.  I’m either reflecting or crusading, nothing in between. I’m choosing reflection over crusading. It is hard for me to channel my energy, as I’m incredibly serious and earnest. Crusading takes up too much energy. I’m always on a quest to better understand myself, but also to better the world. I spend more time than most on reflecting on the complex nuances or shades of grey in issues. This sometimes leads me to battle for ‘change‘.  I’m starting to wonder if  I act like a lose projectile. Need to focus more on my goals and not on those of others.

This week was great because I was able to think deeply and intensely about my actions.  I have to accept that not everything fits into my values ecosystem. It is not realistic to assume  (wish) that work, life, beliefs; people are all connected as a whole. Harmony cannot always reign.

I’m coming to accept that I need lots of ‘recharge‘ time. Well the great thing about this week was that I feel ‘recharged‘. Got back into walking. Something I need to do a little later this day too. On average I walked 3.5 kilometers every day.  In no time I’ll be back walking 4 to 5 km per day.  I also finished 4 blocks of the Dear Jane this week. Nearly completed the 5th one!

The above picture is of the G-3

 J-8 in progress

I’m happier than I have been for a long time and that makes me feel good. My physical health is slowly improving too. Feeling a lot healthier than a week ago! I’m grateful for this week. When is my next vacation? Or should I call it ‘recharge‘ week? The upside of working in education is that in 8 weeks I have another week off.

My challenge for coming week: May I learn to practice holy indifference when it comes to others opinions of me. May I lose my sharp ability to discern disapproval, be it real or perceived, so that I may move toward others without fear or agendas. Keep my heart light like a sacred balloon. Emily P. Freeman, 2015  Thank you Emily, for providing me with this quote and inspiration.

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