Sunday, 15 February 2015

Gratitude - week 7

My day can’t start any better than waking up at sunrise, which was at 7.57am today. Maybe it can get better! As we will nearly have 10 hours of daylight! To be precise we will have 9 hours and 55 minutes of daylight. During those 10 hours we will see the sun and some clouds. It is starting to look like spring is here, or is it just me wishing it was spring already? I really do prefer daylight to darkness.

What have I learned this week? Managing my time is hard, real hard. 

I think I’m starting to understand why I can't manage my time. I’m a helper and people pleasure. Helpers according to the enneagram institute are empathetic, sincere, and warm-hearted. The downside during periods of stress is that on the outside I become aggressive and dominating. I become the challenger. I hate that side of me: the strong one, self-confident and assertive side. I SO want to be in my flow. I’m at my happiest when I’m emotionally aware, sensitive, self-deceptive, self-nurturing and reserved: the Bohemian (individualist). My greatest fear is worthlessness and so I pick-up any chore that comes my way. The more I do, the more ‘others‘ will appreciate me! This affirmation is SO wrong, don't you think? So when my task is unclear or I’m not happy with my task, I help ‘others’ because they ask. It is a distraction technique. I don’t need to choose and I show my worth.  

At my best, I share my own personal experiences and insight to assist ‘others‘ in understanding how to deal with a problem. I’m at my best in problem-solving situations. I’m a mentor and tutor in nearly all aspects of my life. What are the eight core conditions of helping: empathy, warmth, respect, genuineness, self-disclosure, concreteness, confrontation, and immediate feedback. This is me, when helping others. Are you a helper too? Is that why you don’t seem to have a fix on ‘time‘?

So in order to manage my time I need to make choices. I love being curious; I love pioneering, discovering new things, and new insights.  I love problem solving. I love working with small groups of people. In this setting I can be ‘me‘, as I can learn. I love learning. The new hype – life-time learning – isn’t wasted on me.  I need more ‘me‘ time, I need to work alone more. As I need to look from the outside in. In the next months I’m going to try and create this kind of environment.

My personality shows as a quiltmaker too. I like setting goals, but also want to finish a project (sooner rather than later), and go on to the next thing. When a project looks like it will not have closure anytime soon, I will leave it behind and go on to the next task and not look back. This explains why I have so many UFO’s. When I eventually retire, I will rediscover so many unfinished projects.  SO looking forward to that.
I love figuring out how a block needs to be constructed. Once I understand the process, I don’t need to make the same block, again and again. I’m most probably a ‘Sampeler‘ kind of Bohemian Quiltmaker. So now you know why I like the DEAR JANE. No block is the same in this quilt. 225 different blocks!!

To manage my time I’ve decided I’m going to further develop my teaching skills and letting go of becoming a researcher again. I’m really re-inventing my career.  

I’m grateful for the following:
  • Making progress on the G-3 ‘Four Leaf Clover‘

  • Having a great group of students who I will mentor/tutor the next 6 months and being able to help them discover ‘research‘
  • Ignoring my work-phone. At set times I will look if I have missed-any calls and e-mails
  • I’m learning to stay out of my work Inbox
  • Making a TODAY list and working more with ‘2DO
  • Enjoying reading romance novels. My escape from reality
  • Teddy being his cuddly old self. He is not afraid of me any more now that the whooping cough is subsiding 
  • Making time to write again, especially in English. Writing enables me to organize my thoughts and dreams 
  • In 5 days I have Spring Break!

No comments: