Sunday, 15 July 2012

(Finally) letting go

Past week I made a choice. From my perspective it was a major decision (although I have to admit I got a little help). I tried delaying making this decision for a long time ( I so wanted it to work) and therefore nothing was happening. It was really hard to say out loud that I won’t continue on this journey I was on. To admit that I made the wrong choice. However, not deciding was giving me so much grief, that I was actually making myself physically unwell. It feels really good to let go, such a relief.

The importance of life is to live it to the full. We all are trying to find a place where we are happy. Life is for me about growing  mentally and spiritually. Sadly, it took me a while to realize I wasn’t growing. I was going no where. 

Life is about travelling down different paths and making decisions. I’ve come to realize that one of the decisions, that felt so right at that time, was a huge mistake. But I’m not alone here, we all make mistakes. We learn from them and grow stronger.

“In the process of letting go you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself. [….] It will be a permanent Self, rooted in awareness and creativity. One you have captured this, you have captured the world” ~ Deepak Chopra

The point of life lies in the question of whether or not you are just living to die. Because every breath of life you take, you come one breath closer to death. So the time you spend bothered by what could or should be is just wasted time. It took me some time to grasp that concept.

A person who cannot find contentment, cannot find peace. A person, who cannot find peace, cannot find fulfilment. I’m a driven person but also a critic. I voice my beliefs. I’m motivated by choices and challenges to do well. I tend to be serious about every thing. We only have one shot at it. My perseverance is often perceived by others as being insensitive. But people who really know me, know how much I really care. So when you have been spending your time with people who suck the happiness out of you, you have to admit that it is time to let go. It's about being true to yourself, if this means standing alone sometimes than so be it.

I spend a lot of time, effort and energy considering my options and trying to make the right decision. On hindsight I took too long. But now I’ve finally taken the first step, I’m committed in spending my time, effort and energy in making my decision work.

I’m thinking about the future a lot. Not knowing where this decision will take me, makes me a little apprehensive. But if I listen to the hero within, I know everything will turn-out ok. I’m grateful to have taken the plunge.

“If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.” ~Proverb

PS. this is my last post on my past. Helen is back!


Berna said...

Een voorzichtige felicitatie lijkt me op zijn plaats. Tot volgende week!

ruthsplace said...

I hope your decision works out really well for you.

suz said...

I made a decision like this about 15 years ago. It's tough because you don't know what's on the other side of that decision, but realize it has to be better. Best thing I ever did, although it took a small bit of time to totally realize that.