Saturday, 16 June 2012

I stand at the crossroads

I think this describes my situation perfectly. For those quote lovers out there, this is an oldie. It is a quote from Erasmus.

Here I stand all alone at a crossroads of sorts; a place of intersection if you will. Shall I turn right or left or go straight forward? I don’t know which path to take. I’m holding back as I’m pretty scared. But why? Of what I might encounter along the way, if I choose to go left or right or straight forward?

I need to listen to my ‘inner voice’. Therefore I’m taking some time out. My body has been telling me for a while, I can’t continue on this path. This path of physical destruction. My ‘inner voice’ has been asking this question for a while..."Are you moving toward your dream?" At the moment I have to admit my answer is no. I’m helping the ‘others’ realize their dream, which I’m slowly realizing is not mine. But I’m not leaving my dream to chance. However many roadblocks I might encounter I’m not letting go of my dream. So I’ve decided to face my foes and signed up for a Zen Meditation course. I’m going to listen to what my subconscious mind is telling me.

I’ve decided to be more careful of the thoughts that I allow to enter in my subconscious mind. I’ve decided to disassociate myself from the ‘others’ so that I can be me again.

Zen Meditation involves the stopping or slowing of discursive thoughts in order to allow your deeper nature to come to the forefront, to harmonize your mind with your true self. Zen Meditation is one of the most studied practices that is based on being aware of your own thoughts and surroundings. Buddhists believe it alleviates suffering by making you less caught up in everyday stresses – helping you to appreciate the present instead of continually worrying about the past or planning for the future.

My first class will be soon! I can’t wait.

‘Faith includes noticing the mess, the emptiness and discomfort, and letting it be there until some light returns’ ~ Anne Lamott

I have the faith that time will fix things. I just don’t know how much time I will need, but…..

I HAVE THE FAITH
THAT SEES THE INVISIBLE
EXPECTS THE INCREDIBLE
RECEIVES THE IMPOSSIBLE
FAITH, THAT CAN CONQUER, ANYTHING
FAITH, THAT UPROOTS MY PROBLEMS
FAITH, TO KNOW GOD CAN SOLVE THEM
FAITH, TO ENVISION MY FREEDOM
I, I HAVE FAITH, THAT CAN CONQUER ANYTHING
FAITH, TO REACH THE UNREACHABLE
FAITH, TO FIGHT THE UNBEATABLE
FAITH, TO REMOVE THE UNMOVEABLE
FAITH, THAT STANDS THE INVINCEABLE
FAITH, THAT CAN CONQUER ANYTHING
(gospel lyrics)

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Each day brings new beginnings
With new hope along the way.

May your life be filled with blessings
As you walk your path each day.

(inspiration stone)

Gerda

suz said...

good for you! I'm 63 and trying to build courage to do something I've wanted to do for over 20 years. I wish I had had the courage to stop and assess and move in the direction that would bring me happiness. I'll be sending you good thoughts!