Sunday, 28 August 2011

Gratitude post – week 33 and 34

Nearly two weeks have past since my last Gratitude post. I was unable to write one last Sunday as I was away for a short break. Some would wonder why I didn’t go online, but I find it too much bother when residing in another country. I’m still feeling very cheerful even though I’ve been back five days. Had a great end of summer break with my mum. It was nice to be away and explore a small part of Saxony-Anhalt in Germany. I’m also grateful for having such a super mum. We had a good time. Actually a great time. We hardly squabbled, which is unusual as this defines part of our mother-daughter relationship. Love you mum.

On hindsight I’m becoming to appreciating the crisis I went through more and more. It has made me a happier Helen. I’ve had to endure some discomfort the past months and that is voicing it mildly. I realize that an attribute of a great crisis is that you can’t skip the state of feeling ruined and having lost all control. And did I lose it! My personal radar had collapsed and I had no compass.


It is hard to see that all your beliefs and ideas about yourself seem to have demolished. You think, s**t, I can start all over again!  But how? Re-occurring questions keep popping up in your head: who am I, what do I want, what do I need, where do I want to go, what do I want to be, what do I aspire? Questions that you can’t seem to answer straightaway. It takes time! And time seems to go by so slow. But I’ve come to realize a crisis means new opportunities, clarity, clearance, freedom. But the saying is true: no pain, no gain. You have to go through the pain, you have to take your time and endure some discomfort. But when you have been successful, you find that a crisis can be a very significant and helpful experience that makes your life easier to understand. You find that your world has widened. I’ve become wiser. So you guys who are still lost, hang in there. I’m convinced you will come through the crisis with flying colours. You will survive!


A new challenge has come across my path. Leadership. How do I define leadership? What is my leadership style? Am I a leader? How can I incorporate my personal leadership style with my managerial style? Personal leadership is a state of mind, of heart, and of body. Personal leadership describes a way of being and of interacting with the world that begins from the "inside-out. Personal leadership offers the possibility of a creative and inspiring relationship to work, family, friends, and colleagues—to everything we do. It offers us a way to "walk our talk." I’m a listener, I seek multiple perspectives, I have a relentless predisposition and I’m open to critique (maybe too open). I’m a bridge-builder and able to zoom in and zoom out at will. I love facilitating others to unleash their potential and discover the leader in themselves. Some would call me a ‘Integrator’.  Leadership has been described as the “process of social influence in which one person can enlist the aid and support of others in the accomplishment of a common task". Some leaders lead with their hearts while others lead with their minds. I lead by the heart. But is the world ready for me? Am I ready for the world? I see all around me that people still seek traditional leaders. Traditional leaders still have the power and even today we still appoint new leaders with traditional style of leadership. I’m appreciative of my coach who challenges me to think about these things and by doing this I’m discovering who I am.

Feeling exuberant after meeting some of my new colleagues. The meetings and the End of Summer barbecue have energized me.


Tickled after a lovely shopping spree with an ex-colleague. Will be doing this more often. I’ve been in shops I’ve never been in before because of her. It was also a very successful evening as I came home with some new tops that I can wear to work.

Pleased that the outcome of my annual check-up was good. 

Blissful after coming to terms that I can’t do everything. A day only has 24 hours! Have come to accept that my progress on the Dear Jane will be slower that I would like. This is also true for ‘Tis the night before Christmas quilt and Zoë’s quilt. I need to claim time too for blogging, reading, meeting up with friends and family and work.

Joyful for all the compliments I get for this Gratitude post. You know who you are! I’m overwhelmed and it is encouraging to keep on trying to voice my gratitude.


Last but not least I would like to voice my thankfulness towards the developers of the iPhone4. You really developed a phone that I love to use. Why did I wait so long to get you?


1 comment:

Judith said...

Hi hellen, heerlijk om je blog weer te lezen. Wat een verhaal, heel heel veel succes morgen, geniet ervan.